Even though this feels strange it will change the way you look at men. Chase me The pattern, This is similar to Not perfect I’ll pass in that you interact with a guy and then distance yourself. But in this scenario, you have great sex in his king-sized bed and open up not only sexually but emotionally. After the cozy coupling and three-hour confessionals, you get scared to life. You pull back suddenly and become unavailable, or you act crazy and/or dump him. Even if he is loving, you insist that he doesn’t really care about you. Almost against your own will, you find yourself running away for no particular reason. Deep down you know that you’re starting to love the guy so you have to break up with him before he can do it to you. At least that way you can control the heartbreak. What you really want is for him to smash through the barricades you’ve thrown up and come riding in on his white horse to claim you. But you never tell him. So you set him up to fail you. He doesn’t chase after you. And you say to yourself, I knew it all along. The fix, You need to slow things down! Remember the mantra, Jump in too fast and it’s over fast. And, unless he’s a real jerk, no running off! Instead, take a chance hang in there and be real with him. I’ll make you love me push away The pattern, You date a guy you like and work hard to land him hopping right into bed, making exotic dating service profiles, even buying him tickets to the playoffs. You’re not yourself with him just busy trying to be the image of what you think he wants in a woman. You’re his love slave, chef, therapist, and savior. All you want, consciously at least, is for him to stay and never leave you. What you get is a phone that never rings. Your over-giving has chased him into the arms of the nearest girly-woman who needs him to take care of her! When you finally get the bad news through the grapevine, you’re completely baffled by how stupid men can be. The fix, The giving has to go both ways. Your one-sided over-giving is just masking your own fear of rejection. Understand that you can’t make anyone love you. It’s either there or it’s not. Look for a partner who really loves you for you. Yes, it’s possible. Fade away The pattern, You finally force yourself to get out there in the land of men and date. And you admit that some of the guys have potential. Some you even like. You’re polite, you act interested, and you’re responsive. But for some reason, none of them ever calls you back after the initial Starbucks date. You don’t get it. What’s actually happening is that you’re driving men away with subtle verbal or dating service profile signals that say I don’t like you or I’m bored or I’m boring. But you’re not aware that you’re sending these signals.
